Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sian Adey-Jones Agonistes

You might remember her as a beautiful Bond Girl (see pic). To the shadowy figures of Bohemian Grove, she was the supreme new world order pin-up. But, to me, Sian Adey-Jones will always be the ultimate Miss Wales gone bad. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about her conviction for assaulting a police officer at Colwyn Bay in 1976.

Sian was 19 at the time, and the reigning Miss Wales. She'd just attended a function (a 'Bavarian Evening') in Colwyn Bay and was being driven to her Rhos-on-Sea home by her boyfriend. Police stopped their car. According to the rozzers: Miss Adey-Jones took an object from her handbag and sprayed something into her boyfriend's mouth. When asked to reveal the contents of her bag she became aggressive. She kicked one officer between the legs. She was wearing cowboy-style boots. When an officer attempted to handcuff her, she spat in his face and said: "fuck off you pig." The policeman slapped her face.

The situation, according to the cops, deteriorated further at the station. Miss Adey-Jones grabbed the desk sergeant's pen and snapped it in half. As the arresting constable attempted to cart her off to the cells she, once again, kicked him in the testicles. Four officers had to forcibly remove her cowboy boots. It is alleged Miss Adey-Jones shouted: "I am a wildcat, you bastards!"

Sian's version of events was, unsurprisingly, much different. At Mold crown court she denied being drunk at all. She had only consumed 3 glasses of wine. The object in her handbag was merely a mint mouth spray, used to counteract the effects of the garlic sausage eaten at the Bavarian evening. She denied kicking the copper in the balls. She had only lost her rag at the station because the police refused to let her phone her mother. And because they were making sarcastic remarks, such as: "Look who we've got here, Miss Wales."

Sian Adey-Jones was found not guilty of assaulting a male police officer. However, she was fined £100 for assaulting a policewoman, ordered to pay £250 costs, and £25 in compensation to the female cop. As the judge read out the verdict Miss Wales burst into tears and collapsed into the arms of her boyfriend. She would later go on to become a page 3 model, and now lives in Ibiza.